A New Direction

When I started this blog in Kentucky I thought for sure it would be filled with posts about all the different sets I get to experience. Such as:

Can you guess where I am?
This is the exterior set for The Office!

This is 10 minutes from where I live. Going to see it gave me tingles. Gazing through those metal bars I  wanted it more than anything. I wanted to be on a set, in front of a camera so bad.

I thought I would be telling you all about the glamorous things I am up to. All of the famous people I have seen, and I have seen a ton of famous people. (Sarah Michelle Gellar included!)

I now know that the only part of this journey that matters is the one that involves God bringing me into a deeper relationship with Himself. I came out here knowing Jesus wanted me here. I knew that I was going to grow and change and what not, because that is what happens when you leave everything you have ever known. I just had no inkling of how much more God wanted from me. Of how much more God wanted to GIVE me.

Since arriving in LA I have become a member of Mosaic. A church full of artists of every kind. Every month the pastor has one saturday for people to come and ask questions about a designated book of the bible. This month was Genesis. I am not going to lie, I almost didn't go because Genesis was such a tedious book in my opinion, with no important information to be gleaned.

I could not have been more wrong. 

People asked questions and Erwin (the pastor) just kept knocking em out of the park. Intelligent, educated answers like I never thought to seek were laid out before me. The way my jaw dropped every time he gave an answer you might have thought I was watching Evil Kenevil jump the grand canyon and then suddenly just grow wings half way through and fly the rest of the way.

 And it just looked so bleak for humanity! Going through that book and hearing about all of the terrible things humans had done and how God continued to love and redeem us. And I was just like 'WHY?! We can't do anything right so just let us go!"

And finally someone asks the question:

"Why create us then?" He said it with a voice that assumed he was throwing a stumper out there. Like he knew Erwin was going to stumble over this one. 

Erwin: Do you have kids?

Guy: Yes. I have a son.

Erwin: And why did you have kids?

Guy: I just always wanted to be a father. 

Erwin: Oh you just always wanted to be a father. How old is your son?

Guy: 10 months

Erwin: So he is not currently doing chores, or paying rent, or contributing to the household in any way? He is in fact COMPLETELY dependent on you. 

Guy: Well yea. 

And that is where I can no longer transcribe the conversation word for word but you get the picture right?

God isn't TRYING to make Himself a mystery!

 He instilled in us the desire and ability to be parents so that we might better understand His own desire! He just wanted us.  

I apologize to those of you who were so excited to live vicariously through my posts about Hollywood (haha). I hope you continue to read as I share the ways God is changing me. And I am living in Hollywood so it isn't like the posts will be entirely glamor less ;)

I am really excited to share this with you all. Especially the parts where I screw up royally! Because those are the times when God really makes an appearance. 

I hope you are looking forward to this as much as I am!

E.M.G.

Keep struggling!

This post has taken a while to get out because I could not seem to get the words right. I hope you can makes sense of the ramblings from my heart!

Living in Los Angeles has been absolutely amazing. I have fallen hard for this city in so many ways.

However, the past couple of weeks have been a struggle. There have been a lot of missteps and a lot of wrong doings on my part. I have failed in many ways.

One particular failure placed me in a difficult rut. A small voice in my head whispered that I was currently a broken mess and that if I prayed to God now He wouldn't even listen. I had no business talking to Him when I was in this state. He would only be disgusted.

Oh how very wrong. 

If you let your misgivings and flaws control whether or not you go to God then the enemy is winning.

Go to God always. 

God can use the very little bit of faith and self control that we can give Him. We will NEVER be perfect. We will always be struggling with something. So if we wait until we are perfect to take ourselves to Him we fail. Satan wins. 

Come as you are. 

This doesn't mean we should continue to sin with the thought 'Oh He'll just forgive me' going through our heads. It means that we need to quit taking our sin to the corner thinking we can force it out of our lives in private. In my most recent Beth Moore study (The Law of Love), Beth hit me with more of her profound wisdom:

"No one was ever shamed out of their pit."

The shame and guilt we pile onto ourselves, hoping that it will be what drives us into a life worth living, is only weighing us down. Pressing us tighter to the floor of the hole we have dug ourselves.

The only way out is to let God love us out.

No matter how little we have to give, God is never ashamed of our offerings. He is so pleased with them. He is so proud of them. 

He can feed the masses with the two fish you bring. If you bring Him nothing He can do nothing with you.

Don't wait until you are in a perfect state of being. It will never happen. Just go to God right now. 

The freedom we have in God does not make us perfect. It opens our eyes to truth and then makes us free to start wrestling our own selfish desires to walk in that truth. 

Keep struggling.

P.S. A good accompaniment to this blog post is Chapter 8 in 'The Screwtape Letters' by C.S. Lewis. 

Road Trip: Part III

YAY! Last long over due post about my road trip! It has been a month since I have been home already and I am just now finishing these. Oops.
Megan had arranged for us to stay with a friend of a friend in Albuquerque. She was this feisty little old lady named Lou and she was a blast! She made us spaghetti with homemade sauce. It was so good.

The next morning she took us to one of her favorite breakfast places and bought us breakfast. Yea, it was as amazing as it looks. Delicious.

Some of the mountains in Arizona.

After breakfast Lou drove us around the city for a bit, told us all about how she became a christian and then sent us on our way.

Good bye, Albuquerque.

We arrived in LA around 3 am soooo happy!

Megan got to go to the beach.

We went to dinner at a vegetarian place. Megan had a kale lemonade and I had a pomegranate soda. 

We played Catan with my roomies. A game I was very pleased to learn Megan enjoyed. 

Then we parted. Road trip successful.

I would like to take this opportunity to talk about Megan Graves. I loved her before this road trip. After I dropped her off at her friend Ashley's I was surprised by just how saddened I was by the empty seat next to me. Somehow I thought I would be glad for some alone time, but I would much rather have had her stay in LA with me in my tiny little room. 

She was absolutely the perfect travel companion. She eats healthy and is also on a budget so she planned meals out that worked with both of those ideals. Our body temperatures matched up perfectly so we there was no fighting over heating/air conditioning in the car. She planned our stops and set up places for us to stay so I didn't have to worry about hotels. 

She is one of the most inspiring christian women, and friends that I have in my life. I love her so much. She is one of the people that I honestly can not believe God has blessed me with. 

I love so very much, Megan. Thank you for making this trip so much more than just getting back to LA. I can never tell you enough how grateful I am for you. 

I hope you all have enjoyed my little road trip blog because now it is back to business! My journey is only just beginning. 

EMG

Jumping back in!